The “Age” Gap
Why Age has (should have) nothing to do with Relationships.
When I was 27, I was seeing three different Women. One was 17 (who at 16 had already lost both of her parents) and was going on 35, one who was 32 going on 45, and the third one was 42, going on (in many ways) 17.
What was the differenence here? What about their ‘ages’ was it that made them feel different from their chronological age? In part, maturity. In part, life experiences. In some part, it was undefinable.
So what was there about me seeing these three different women that made me see three different women? Was it being insecurity only part? Was it being The Times (yeah, it was the 70’s — the afterlife of the free love 60's)?
It was in large part, because by seeing these three different women, I could get what I wanted in One. (hint: I”m still looking)
This is a large part of why polyamory is now such a thing. People are recognizing that they want different things that only several different people they are seeing can give.
But I digress…
The 17 year old was the one I most likely — looking back in hindsight — should have had as my first wife. She wasn’t.
Yes, All three knew about each other, and two of them were dating other men.
The ‘youngest’ and the ‘oldest’ were both playful in their own ways. the 32 year old was more the earth mother type, playing that role in her Community, and having all of the children that she could handle because she couldn’t have any of her own.
This ‘arrangement’ didn’t last for that long, with me eventually moving on from all three. But the ‘issue’ of chronological and emotional age has stayed with me over the years, and the relationships.
As with the last Resident of the White House, age is (obviously) Not a determinate of maturity. This goes for a great many other ‘Citizens’ in this country.
Maturity and Response-Ability
As we grow, we learn how to deal with events and people that we interact with, and learn (hopefully) responsible ways to act healthy. That doesn’t exactly happen as a natural response for everybody.